Lowell Is Back!

Well, I;ve finally got around to writing about my golf weekend. I would've written on Monday, but I had a hard time getting out of bed (or off the sofa once I awoke). Yesterday, I still had a lot of porn to download so I decided to wait until today.

I played an awful lot of golf last weekend. 18 holes on Thursday; 36 on Friday; 36 on Saturday and another 18 on Sunday. And, boy did I swing a lot - and not just on the golf course, he he he. I'm kidding of course, except for the traditional Saturday night anal raping of all new participants. And, unless you go first or second, it's just not all that much fun anymore.

Anyway, on to the golf. Thursday's round was my best of the weekend. I shot a 105 which is very good for me. Friday morning was a different story. We played the Gailes, a Scottish style course similar to the one played in the British Open. I don't remember what I got, but I do know it was a lot. Then we played a 2-man scramble Friday afternoon and my partner and I shot a 16 over par - not very good. Saturday morning was another disaster as I shot around a 130 on the same course I had the 105 on Thursday. Saturday afternoon was a 4-man scramble and we shot an even par round. We only had 2 birdies and 2 bogies. I did drain a putt that was about 60 feet (this will get longer each time I tell it) long and up an embankment. That was our first birdie and it came on the hardest hole of the course. We finished in third place. First place came in at 4 or 5 under par. Saturday night we ate at the course and had a very good meal. Choices were between steak, perch and smothered chicken. I chose the perch and it was very good. After dinner we played Texas Hold-Em (there was no anal rape - I was making a little joke). I didn't last long. I lost a hand with pocket Queens (the winner had 2 pair) and then went all in on the very next hand with pocket Jacks. I lost to a pair of Kings. I decided not to re-buy in because of the consecutive losses. I had to retire to the "row of losers" - a line of chairs away from the table from which to observe the rest of the game. Sunday morning we played the Gailes again and I did just about as bad as I did on Friday morning.

I had a weird dream last night. I dreampt that most of my friends had decided that I was no longer necessary and that I should be killed. But they didn't want to kill me themselves, so they decided to frame me for murder and hope I got the death sentence. One of my friends, I'll call him Barnabas, when into hiding. The rest of them told the police that I had an argument with Barnabas and that I must have killed him. I had to go on the lam. As the police began to get close, I decided that I wasn't going to go quietly. So I went back, found Barnabas, and shot him in the head. That way my death sentence would be legitimate. The police caught me and I was sent to death row without a trial because, obviously, I did it. I woke up before my execution. Analyze that, Dr. Phil! I read somewhere that you can never die in your dreams. That if you do die, you will die in real life. Interesting.

Medicine time! Oh Boy!