My Life And Other Random Thoughts: August 2008

Monday, August 25, 2008

I've been busy...

Sorry I haven't blogged in some time. I've been busy watching porn documentaries.
Other than that, I haven't done anything in the month of August.

I have received many emails from you, my readers. I'll try to answer some of the questions you asked me now.

Yes; Yes; No; Invisibility; Only when I urinate; and Hyperion, moon of Saturn.

There, I hope I answered all your questions. Keep writing! I enjoy reading your comments.

Now I must go and feed the ostrich, if you know what I mean.

Welcome To My Blog

It all started when I was 8. I was sitting in the recliner watching The Partridge Family when I noticed my parents going out the door.

"Bye, we're never coming back," my mother said.

I sat in the chair wondering what to do. I went to bed hoping they'd be back in the morning. They weren't. I heard a knock on the door. It was the tax collector.

He said, "You owe taxes."

I told him I was only 8 and had no money so he took the house. I was now out on the street. I begged for food, clothing, $100 bills. I received nothing. I got a job at a local auto service place, but I got fired when they found out I couldn't do a lube job. I then wondered around the foothills of the Kettle Moraine region in Wisconsin. I returned to my old profession of begging. This time I only asked for $50 bills. I received many. I was also mugged, beaten and robbed. I was sleeping on the side of the road when a big black limosine pulled up. It was Alice Cooper. He gave me a glass of milk and dropped me off at the nearest orphanage with a boa constrictor wrapped around me. A couple of social workers saw me and told me not to move. I couldn't hear them so I walked in their direction. The boa then left me and started attacking anything and everything. They finally stopped it after it had killed its fifth victim, a pudgy six-year-old. In spite of this incident they welcomed me with open arms. A week later, I got bored and left. I soon found myself in Denver, Colorado. There, I saw in a store window, the snake Alice has given me. I went into the store and demanded my snake back. They wouldn't give it to me because I didn't have a sales receipt. That night I broke into the store to get my snake back. Unfortunately, I tripped the silent alarm and was caught by the police. I spent 8 months in jail doing hard labor. I came out looking like the Hulk, except I wasn't green. I then wondered around until I got to when I am today... Nowhere.

My Life And Other Random Thoughts

Monday, August 25, 2008

I've been busy...

Lowell Cooper

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