I saw this and thought it was soooo funny...

histoire de photocopie...mdr
Uploaded by zemila

Did you hear the one about...

So these two cannibals are munching on a clown when one cannibal says to the other, "This clown tastes like shit. He must have been an asshole."

I like banana bread.

My doctor said that my potassium levels are too high and I need to cut back on foods high in potassium. I thought he said possum. I told him I had no problem cutting back on foods that are high in possum. He laughed at me. I was serious. It wasn't until 15 minutes later that I understood what he said. I then laughed at me.

Hope you don't eat too many foods high in possum.

"Smiles, everyone. Smiles."

How often has this happened to you?

Have you ever come home from work, sat on the couch and soon find yourself in a puddle of warm urine? I have. And I'm not talking about a bladder control problem either. I'm talking laziness. I gotta tell you, many's the time I needed to take a whiz but I was just too lazy to get off my ass. So I pissed myself. Luckily, I purchased an industrial strength bottle of Febreeze. That way, my sofa cushions stay minty fresh.

Mmmmm... Pumpkin bread.