Steve Buscemi - Ugly?

I had a dream the other day. What else is new? In my dream I was my younger self, living in my parents house with my older brother. We'll call him "Hank" to protect his identity. Well, in my dream, Hank wants me to help him catalog all his posters. By UPC number. He wanted me to read the UPC number off each poster (they were conveniently located at the bottom right of each poster) and he would write them down in in a notebook. We didn't have laptops back then, so there was no such thing as Excel. And MTV was actually playing music videos. Anyway, I had to pull his posters out of a cardboard tube because that's how he stored them - rolled up in the tube. I unrolled the posters and started reading off the UPC numbers while Hank jotted them down. Then I came across a poster with a hole cut out of the middle that read "Don't Smoke - Or You May End Up Looking Like This". I asked Hank what he cut out of the poster and he told me "It was a picture of Steve Buscemi." I asked him why he cut the picture out and he told me it was because he thought Steve was ugly. I then continued to rifle though the posters as fast as I could so I could go play trucks in the back yard.

So I ask you - Is Steve Buscemi, the star of the excellent HBO series "Boardwalk Empire", ugly? Or does he just smoke too much?

All Hail Nucky Thompson. Hail Nucky!

I finally figured out what I'm going to give out on Halloween this year. BIC disposable razors. I have a beard now, so I don't need 'em. And the kids then can play 'grown-ups' with some real grown-up stuff. Last year I gave out scoops of vanilla ice cream. Oh, how I loved the expressions on their adorable, perplexed faces as the ice cream rolled off my scoop and plopped down on top of their candy. Good times.

How did you celebrate Columbus Day? I celebrated it by getting up early and going to work, Then coming home and cussing at the mailman 'cause he forgot to deliver my mail. Fun fact: Did you know Columbus actually had 4 ships when he left Portugal? One fell over the edge.

Reach for the Gusto. Gusto hasn't been felt up in awhile and he's getting kinda frisky.

Who created gravy?

Just wondering....

Who created gravy? Just think about this. Someone, somewhere said, "Hey Bill, try this thick, brown stuff that looks like liquid poo and let me know what it tastes like and if you think it'll be good poured over spuds. And also let me know if you live."

And eggs. Who would think something that comes out of a chicken's ass would be edible? I can visualize a caveman looking at a chicken and, after seeing the egg get laid say, "Hey Grog, how much you give me if I eat that? Of course it has to be cracked against a bowl and the insides must be beaten until it turns a golden color. And it must be cooked over a flame or some source of heat. And then add salt and pepper for seasoning. But I'll bet it tastes delicious. And look at that white stuff coming out of that cow. Get me a glass!"

Tony Curtis is dead. I liked him in the TV show Vegas as Philip Roth. Robert Urich (Dan Tanna) is also dead. The curse of Vegas lives on. Binzer is still alive, although he still cannot drive the T-Bird. Judy Landers (age 52) and Phyllis Davis (age 70) are also still among the living.

I've been received notifications about my high school class reunion lately. I won't tell you what year I graduated, but some of the popular songs during my 4 years of high school include Boogie Oogie Oogie by A Taste Of Honey, Miss You by The Rolling Stones, Heart Of Glass by Blondie, Pop Muzik by M, Rupert Holmes' classic Escape (The Pina Colada Song), Sausalito Summernight from Diesel, Bette Davis Eyes by Kim Carnes, Rick Springfield's Jessie's Girl, Please Don't Go from KC and the Sunshine Band, Ring My Bell by Anita Ward, Hot Blooded from Foreigner, With A Little Luck by Wings, Rod Stewart's immortal Do Ya Think I'm Sexy and Funkytown by Lipps, Inc. All of the above made it to #1 on Billboard's Top 40 Chart except for Sausalito Summernight and Hot Blooded which only got to #25 and #3 respectively.

That's all for now, but don't forget to eat your vegetables as they can make you grow tall and not get cancer.