I did my patriotic duty this past Tuesday. I exercised my right to vote. I went after work and I was voter number 318. Two years ago I was number 280 and I voted at about 4:30 PM each time. Now 2 years ago, we had a presidential election, so I was kind of surprised that my voter number was higher this year than it was back then. Maybe it was because this time they removed the venomous snakes from in front of the door. Also, I can now be called for jury duty.
California voted down a proposal to make marijuana legal. They estimated that legalizing pot would bring in an additional 1.6 Billion dollars in taxes. My only question is this - Who is 'they'? You always hear about 'They told me...' or 'They estimated...' or 'They are out to get us.'. I want to know who 'they' are. Who are 'they'? Should we be afraid of 'them'? Are 'they' good or bad? Who the hell is/are 'they'? Inquiring minds want to know.
I run around in circles as if one foot is nailed to the floor. Do you? It kinda makes me dizzy.
I visited my local Guru because I wanted to learn how to meditate. He turned me onto LSD and gave me a mantra that I could chant to help me attain inner peace - Dead Chickens Don't Shit. So if you see a guy walking down the street mumbling to himself "Dead chicken don't shit. Dead chickens don't shit..." leave him alone. He's probably had a tough day.
Keith Richards wrote a book. I believe it's called "My Life As Told To Me By Others Because I Can't Fucking Remember Anything".
DID YOU KNOW OCTOBER 22ND WAS CAPS LOCKS DAY?
It's getting close to the holidays. By that, I mean it's a couple of days past Halloween. I've already gotten about 50 catalogs in the mail - some of which I have no idea how I got on their mailing list. I have never gone hunting or smoked in my life, yet I've received catalogs for hunting knives and cigars. Now maybe because I recently bought a Toro Leaf Blower from ACE Hardware someone thought I might like some knives so that I could carve up whatever I caught with the blower. And who does yard work without puffing away on a good stogie? "Ash is good for the grass."
I remember when I was in high school and was trying to grow my first beard, my uncle gave me some advice. He told me "You need to put honey on the outside cause that pulls the whiskers out. And put chicken shit on the inside, cause that pushes." He lied. From that point on, he was no longer my favorite uncle. And yes, I told this story to my guru before he gave me my mantra.
I must depart now, but I will leave you with this tidbit from Rodney Dangerfield, whom I believe is still dead - "We were so poor we couldn't afford tinsel for the Christmas tree. We just waited for Grampa to sneeze."
