Sometimes I wish I was a monkey. Then I could fling around my own poo without having to worry about what other people thought because, hey, monkey.
I had a dream the other day. Come to think about it, it was night, not day...
I dreamt I was camping in the woods. I was hiking on a trail when I came across Adam West, TV's Batman. He was busy choking a small woodland creature. I asked him "Why are you choking that small woodland creature?" He responded, "That's just it. They're too small to fuck." I said, "You know, you don't have to fuck them." At that Mr. West dropped the small woodland creature and ran off into the woods. The small woodland creature then ran up a tree. Take that Dr. Phil.
Do you smell something?
If a clown jumped off a building, would you catch him? I would because, hey, free clown.
Eva Longoria Parker just got a divorce. Looks like ol' Lowell is back in the running. I've given up on Janice Dickenson because she hasn't returned any of my calls or emails. Just like a woman - ignoring the best thing that could ever happen to her.
Next Thursday is Thanksgiving - Remember to cook your Thanksgiving noodles - no one likes uncooked holiday noodles.
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