I've been lying low since the following happened, just to be on the safe side.
Yes, just like Barbara Rose-Collins (picture on right - in tiara and mu-mu), I was visited by the Feds early one morning recently. Luckily, I put on a robe before answering the door as I had been sleeping in the nude. They showed up without warning and left after only about 15 minutes. They told me that they have tapes of several men discussing that I was angry with them about the fact that I had not yet been bribed about the Synagro sludge deal. One of the men said that there was no problem, that I had been taken care of. Obviously, this was done to frame me. I told the Feds that I received no money whatsoever to influence my vote, of which I have none. I am not a resident of the fine City of Detroit, so I cannot even run for city counsel. However, I work in the city so I do pay non-resident city taxes. And I can't vote or run for City government positions. That really sucks. Isn't that what we went to war with England about back in the mid 1770's? Taxation without representation? Maybe I should declare war with Detroit. I could probably win. The citizens of Detroit don't seem to care who's in charge anyway.
Anyway, I am not a target. The Feds told me so. I'm letting you know about this before the newpapers get ahold of it. That way it looks like I'm not guilty. I have nothing to hide. If the Feds come back, I'll freely talk to them without benefit of a lawyer. I'm that confident that they won't find anything out.
I'm really drunk right now.
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