Mr. Al Gore, Please Come To Michigan

To: Mr. Al Gore
From: Lowell Cooper
Re: That whole global warming thingee
Date: A day after a huge snowfall

Mr. Al Gore,

I understand you're concerned about global warming. Well, I just shovelled 10" of your global warming from my driveway and sidewalk. We here in Michigan could see upwards of 20" of snowfall before Christmas. I don't think we've ever had this much snow before Christmas since I've moved to Michigan some 23 years ago.

Mr. Al Gore, please come to Michigan and try to convince me that global warming is real, because right about now, I don't believe it. Maybe Michigan is in some kind of funky space-time continuum where global warming ceases to exist. Or maybe Michigan has drifted farther north than what was originally thought. Or maybe the curse the old gypsy put on me after I peed on her crystal ball is real. You know the curse - "Wherever you go, it will be cold. Colder than the tip of the iceberg. Colder than Lambeau Field in December. Colder than the heart of a Republican discussing abortion. Colder than Leona Helmsley's corpse. You shall never again feel warmth." That would definitely explain why I couldn't feel anything when I accidentally caught on fire the other day. Luckily it was at work and my co-workers were able to put out the fire. However, they did take several minutes to discuss whether or not they should and that bothered me a little.

Anyway, in case I don't post before Christmas, everyone have a Happy Holiday season and don't forget: Christmastime is noodle time. Enjoy your holiday noodles.