Chrsitmas Card 2000

Here's my first "family" Holiday write-up that I did back in 2000:

SEASON'S GREETINGS 

Wow, another year has gone by already. And what a year it was! Yasmeen gave birth to our 4th child in July. We named her Rebecca. Unfortunately, Yasmeen was high on heroin for most of the pregnancy and Rebecca was born hooked on the drug. After several weeks of rehab, I can proudly say that Rebecca is clean and sober. Yasmeen, however, refuses to admit she has a problem. I'm constantly finding stashes of her junk all over the house. Of course, I'm selling it to get money to feed my gambling habit. Please note the new address on the envelope, as we have had to move several times in the past year to avoid my "creditors". 

The kids are little spunkers! Little Jeffrey said his first word. It sounded like "gaahk". He was smiling when he said it, so I think it means "gas". He still poops too much. I gotta talk to him about that. Sally, who is 4, is starting to wear dresses now. I think she looks like a whore. She wears skimpy tops, fishnet stocking and heels and struts up and down the street saying things like, "Hey there big boy. Wanna roll me for a quarter?" I gotta talk to her soon, too. Come to think of it, that's how I met Yasmeen in the first place. Our son Jackson started the 2nd grade this year. He seems to have a problem with authority figures, especially me. I woke up the other night and he was standing over me holding a bottle of drain cleaner. He told me the sink was stopped up. I checked. It wasn't. Another one I gotta talk to. Connie, our oldest, is running with a street gang that goes by the name of The Cheekiest Group Of Guys Around. Ever since she started hanging out with them, she's been walking kinda bow-legged. She's dropped out of school and refuses to do any chores around the house. All she does during the day is listen to music by Anthrax, Megadeath, Iron Maiden and Air Supply. At night she hangs out with her gang. We're going to kick her out if she doesn't shape up soon. 

We have a foreign exchange student living with us this year. We call him "Fez" like in the TV show "That 70's Show". He spends a lot of time in the basement like the kids in the show do. Only he's alone. I went down there the other day. The rug was out of position. When I moved it, I saw a star-shaped figure drawn on the floor. At the tip of each arm were wax droppings. I asked his teacher about the drawing. She got this horrified look on her face, screamed "Oh my god, not again!", and ran out of the room. I couldn't find her after that. I'm going to have to talk to Fez.  While I was at the school, I talked to Jackson's teacher. She told me that Jackson had been using phrases like "ram it, ram it, ram it up the poop chute" and "wiping residue fecal matter off the ol' wang-o". Now I gotta get a v-chip for the gay porn channel. 

Work hasn't been much fun lately. The boss now believes he is the reincarnation of Hitler. He's recruited several employees to become members of his Gestapo. Surveillance cameras are everywhere. If anyone is not where they're supposed to be or say anything they're not supposed to say, they are taken away to be "reminded" about company policy. He's also building his own private bunker in the sub-basement. And don't get me started on the noise the SS Troops make as they march throughout the building. It's so loud, no one can get any work done. One nice thing though, he's installing showers in all the bathrooms. 

Yasmeen works with the City Commission. I don't know what they do and Yasmeen tells me I don't want to know. I don't press her on the issue because I want sex from her. Our next door neighbor, Mike Quimby, is a real busybody. He's always putting his nose in other people's business. Just the other day I was out behind the garage digging a hole, because that's where we like to dump the bodies, and he comes up to me and asks what I was doing. I told him our daughter wanted to dig to China and I was helping her out. He accepted that response. It's a good thing he didn't stop by later that evening or I would've had to make the hole a little bigger, if you know what I mean. 

Yasmeen has started doing charity work. She's gone a lot. I don't ask her where she's been or what she's doing because I want sex from her. I had to finally give up on the old Buick. She just couldn't handle the long trips from my garage to the street anymore (ha ha). I wanted to get a Jag, but Yasmeen wanted a station wagon. We compromised and bought a station wagon. The kids wanted an SUV, but I know the insurance on those buggies would be going thru the roof. By the way, I'm selling my part-ownership in a Firestone tire shop if anyone is interested. 

Well, that's about all for this year. I would've enclosed a picture of the family but my camera is broken, so instead of an actual picture, I am enclosing a drawing in its place. I hope you like it. Connie isn't in the picture because she wasn't at home when I drew it. Hope all there at your place are happy, healthy, and un-incarcerated. 

Happy Holidays!!! 

The Beckers 

 

(The information contained in this document is fictional and not intended to offend or humiliate anyone. If you are offended or humiliated, tough shit)

Just Some Rambling Thoughts...

This summary is not available. Please click here to view the post.

A Long Time Has Passed...

I need to update this blog more often. I don't because it is easier not to. It has nothing to do with my thought process, it's just that I'm lazy. I have thoughts every day. I just don't feel the need to post them for all the world to see. Many of my thoughts lately have been very personal. Thoughts I don't want to let out because countries and marriages will be ruined by them - many countries and many marriages, some more that 20-30 years old. Now, if I were to pass away for some unexpected reason, I do have documents sealed away that will point to the probable perpetrators. As long as I stay alive, no one will know the things I know. Such as the number of actual moon landings that really occurred - hint: it rhymes with shero. Also, Miami Vice was real.

Whatever happened to Phil Collins?

Classic Match Game response:
Gene Rayburn: I'm glad I didn't get my [blank] stuck in that machine.
Charles Nelson Reilly: Wee Wee.
Bret Somers: Cock.

I've had a lot of gas

It's been a long time since my last post. I promise to post more often for those of you still following me.

I've been tooting almost every half hour this weekend. Why? I don't know. But it feels good. I'm not as bloated as I was last week.

On another note, I had this vision pop into my head this afternoon. It's an idea for an Archie Comic book. You remember Archie Comics, with Jughead, Reggie, Veronica and Betty, right? Well I had an idea for a filler page. In the first panel, Jughead is coming out of a classroom with what looks like a beer bottle in his hand. Archie and Reggie are standing on the opposite side of the hallway. In the second panel, Mr Weatherbee (the principal) run by and grabs the bottle out of Jughead's hand. The third panel shows Mr Weatherbee still running. He's drinking from the bottle and saying "Everybody loves liquor." In the fourth panel, Mr Weatherbee sees the label on the bottle. It reads 'Nitro-Glycerin'. He says "Egad". In the last panel, he blows up. Wouldn't that teach our young people of today that liquor is bad?

And how about me using the term 'young people of today'. I sound like my parents. Next thing you know I'll be saying things like "All that rapping music of today. That's just going to lead to kissing, weird dancing and doing of the drugs." That's all for now. I'll have more later. Unless I find something better to do. Like watching them paint the new yellow lines on the street.

I'm Getting Old

I'm getting old.

It's gotten to the point that I'm afraid to fart because, you know, who knows what might come out of there. Hell, I'm even afraid to walk fast. My treadmill, if I had one, would be used as a pseudo Christmas tree - ornaments hanging from the handle and a white rug (with the phrase "Merry Christmas" written in spilled red wine) tossed over the bottom portion. I would even rather belch than risk a fart at this point. Where has all the fun gone?

I'm getting old.

I really like the smell of IcyHot. Kinda reminds me of Ben Gay and candy cigarettes. But for the love of God and all that is holy, do not rub Ben Gay on your ass and stuff a candy cigarette up your bunghole and then try to fart. Trust me on this one.

I'm getting old.

I make the old man noise when I get out of a chair. Sometimes I forget things like what day it is and that I'm not supposed to kill.

I'm getting old.

I like watching 60 Minutes. Andy Rooney makes some good points.

I'm getting old.

I have more hair in my nose and ears than on my head. I have a theory on that - Hair gets lazy as you get older and it can't quite make it to the top of your head so it stops in the nose and ears. I think I'll let my ear hair grow and use it as a comb-over.

I'm getting old. But I still like fart jokes. Did I tell you the one about the Ben Gay and candy cigarettes?
I did? I'm getting old.

9:07 PM - Time for Hot Pockets!

Blah Blah Blah...

Sometimes I wish I was a monkey. Then I could fling around my own poo without having to worry about what other people thought because, hey, monkey.

I had a dream the other day. Come to think about it, it was night, not day...
I dreamt I was camping in the woods. I was hiking on a trail when I came across Adam West, TV's Batman. He was busy choking a small woodland creature. I asked him "Why are you choking that small woodland creature?" He responded, "That's just it. They're too small to fuck." I said, "You know, you don't have to fuck them." At that Mr. West dropped the small woodland creature and ran off into the woods. The small woodland creature then ran up a tree. Take that Dr. Phil.

Do you smell something?

If a clown jumped off a building, would you catch him? I would because, hey, free clown.

Eva Longoria Parker just got a divorce. Looks like ol' Lowell is back in the running. I've given up on Janice Dickenson because she hasn't returned any of my calls or emails. Just like a woman - ignoring the best thing that could ever happen to her.

Next Thursday is Thanksgiving - Remember to cook your Thanksgiving noodles - no one likes uncooked holiday noodles.

I Did My Patriotic Duty

I did my patriotic duty this past Tuesday. I exercised my right to vote. I went after work and I was voter number 318. Two years ago I was number 280 and I voted at about 4:30 PM each time. Now 2 years ago, we had a presidential election, so I was kind of surprised that my voter number was higher this year than it was back then. Maybe it was because this time they removed the venomous snakes from in front of the door. Also, I can now be called for jury duty.

California voted down a proposal to make marijuana legal. They estimated that legalizing pot would bring in an additional 1.6 Billion dollars in taxes. My only question is this - Who is 'they'? You always hear about 'They told me...' or 'They estimated...' or 'They are out to get us.'. I want to know who 'they' are. Who are 'they'? Should we be afraid of 'them'? Are 'they' good or bad? Who the hell is/are 'they'? Inquiring minds want to know.

I run around in circles as if one foot is nailed to the floor. Do you? It kinda makes me dizzy.

I visited my local Guru because I wanted to learn how to meditate. He turned me onto LSD and gave me a mantra that I could chant to help me attain inner peace - Dead Chickens Don't Shit. So if you see a guy walking down the street mumbling to himself "Dead chicken don't shit. Dead chickens don't shit..." leave him alone. He's probably had a tough day.

Keith Richards wrote a book. I believe it's called "My Life As Told To Me By Others Because I Can't Fucking Remember Anything".

DID YOU KNOW OCTOBER 22ND WAS CAPS LOCKS DAY?

It's getting close to the holidays. By that, I mean it's a couple of days past Halloween. I've already gotten about 50 catalogs in the mail - some of which I have no idea how I got on their mailing list. I have never gone hunting or smoked in my life, yet I've received catalogs for hunting knives and cigars. Now maybe because I recently bought a Toro Leaf Blower from ACE Hardware someone thought I might like some knives so that I could carve up whatever I caught with the blower. And who does yard work without puffing away on a good stogie? "Ash is good for the grass."

I remember when I was in high school and was trying to grow my first beard, my uncle gave me some advice. He told me "You need to put honey on the outside cause that pulls the whiskers out. And put chicken shit on the inside, cause that pushes." He lied.  From that point on, he was no longer my favorite uncle. And yes, I told this story to my guru before he gave me my mantra.

I must depart now, but I will leave you with this tidbit from Rodney Dangerfield, whom I believe is still dead - "We were so poor we couldn't afford tinsel for the Christmas tree. We just waited for Grampa to sneeze."

Steve Buscemi - Ugly?

I had a dream the other day. What else is new? In my dream I was my younger self, living in my parents house with my older brother. We'll call him "Hank" to protect his identity. Well, in my dream, Hank wants me to help him catalog all his posters. By UPC number. He wanted me to read the UPC number off each poster (they were conveniently located at the bottom right of each poster) and he would write them down in in a notebook. We didn't have laptops back then, so there was no such thing as Excel. And MTV was actually playing music videos. Anyway, I had to pull his posters out of a cardboard tube because that's how he stored them - rolled up in the tube. I unrolled the posters and started reading off the UPC numbers while Hank jotted them down. Then I came across a poster with a hole cut out of the middle that read "Don't Smoke - Or You May End Up Looking Like This". I asked Hank what he cut out of the poster and he told me "It was a picture of Steve Buscemi." I asked him why he cut the picture out and he told me it was because he thought Steve was ugly. I then continued to rifle though the posters as fast as I could so I could go play trucks in the back yard.

So I ask you - Is Steve Buscemi, the star of the excellent HBO series "Boardwalk Empire", ugly? Or does he just smoke too much?

All Hail Nucky Thompson. Hail Nucky!

I finally figured out what I'm going to give out on Halloween this year. BIC disposable razors. I have a beard now, so I don't need 'em. And the kids then can play 'grown-ups' with some real grown-up stuff. Last year I gave out scoops of vanilla ice cream. Oh, how I loved the expressions on their adorable, perplexed faces as the ice cream rolled off my scoop and plopped down on top of their candy. Good times.

How did you celebrate Columbus Day? I celebrated it by getting up early and going to work, Then coming home and cussing at the mailman 'cause he forgot to deliver my mail. Fun fact: Did you know Columbus actually had 4 ships when he left Portugal? One fell over the edge.

Reach for the Gusto. Gusto hasn't been felt up in awhile and he's getting kinda frisky.

Who created gravy?

Just wondering....

Who created gravy? Just think about this. Someone, somewhere said, "Hey Bill, try this thick, brown stuff that looks like liquid poo and let me know what it tastes like and if you think it'll be good poured over spuds. And also let me know if you live."

And eggs. Who would think something that comes out of a chicken's ass would be edible? I can visualize a caveman looking at a chicken and, after seeing the egg get laid say, "Hey Grog, how much you give me if I eat that? Of course it has to be cracked against a bowl and the insides must be beaten until it turns a golden color. And it must be cooked over a flame or some source of heat. And then add salt and pepper for seasoning. But I'll bet it tastes delicious. And look at that white stuff coming out of that cow. Get me a glass!"

Tony Curtis is dead. I liked him in the TV show Vegas as Philip Roth. Robert Urich (Dan Tanna) is also dead. The curse of Vegas lives on. Binzer is still alive, although he still cannot drive the T-Bird. Judy Landers (age 52) and Phyllis Davis (age 70) are also still among the living.

I've been received notifications about my high school class reunion lately. I won't tell you what year I graduated, but some of the popular songs during my 4 years of high school include Boogie Oogie Oogie by A Taste Of Honey, Miss You by The Rolling Stones, Heart Of Glass by Blondie, Pop Muzik by M, Rupert Holmes' classic Escape (The Pina Colada Song), Sausalito Summernight from Diesel, Bette Davis Eyes by Kim Carnes, Rick Springfield's Jessie's Girl, Please Don't Go from KC and the Sunshine Band, Ring My Bell by Anita Ward, Hot Blooded from Foreigner, With A Little Luck by Wings, Rod Stewart's immortal Do Ya Think I'm Sexy and Funkytown by Lipps, Inc. All of the above made it to #1 on Billboard's Top 40 Chart except for Sausalito Summernight and Hot Blooded which only got to #25 and #3 respectively.

That's all for now, but don't forget to eat your vegetables as they can make you grow tall and not get cancer.

I'm Back!

It's been well over a year since I last posted. I have no excuse except for laziness. And bowel movements. I've had a lot of them lately. I even have to bring an extra pair of pants to work "just in case".

Obviously a lot has happened in the last year, so I'll try to summarize...

Nothing has changed.

Good ol' Lowell is still single with no options in sight. I still work for the same company, except it's no longer called EDS, an HP company. We were absorbed by HP, so I'm now officially an HP employee.

My dreams about Janice Dickinson have disappeared. They've been replaced by the normal sex dreams (without Janice) and the dreams where you're being chased but you can't move or scream like a little girl. And, of course, the dreams about travelling hoards of gypsies in buckwagons.

I've spent a lot of time watching TV over the past year. And I've decided that there really isn't that much good stuff on. I really wish NBC would bring back their "To Catch A Predator" shows. Those were entertaining, at least the ones that didn't include me.

Oooooo. The pain killers are starting to kick in.

The local news here in Detroit keeps getting worse and worse. Three of the nine city council members have had their homes forclosed in the past year (including the city council president). These are the people the residents of Detroit have elected (I don't live in Detroit, so I don't have a vote) to lead the city out of the crisis it is currently in. They can't even handle their own finances, how the hell can they even fathom a budget the size of a small suburb let alone a large metropolitan area? City council members make over $81,000/year. I don't know about you, but that is a lot of money in a city where you can buy a very decent house for about $120,000. This council member can't afford to pay her mortgage(she owes $169,000), condo association fees($4,000 behind) and credit card (Chase Bank is suing her for $2,200). Her husband is an executive with Strategic Staffing Solutions, so he has to be making decent money too. Where does the money go? Crack and cable TV I bet.
At least they didn't re-elect Monica Conyers (who just went to jail for 37 months for accepting bribes while a member of the council in 2008).

Aaaagh! Will it ever end?

Robin - "We could have been killed Batman!"
Batman - "Or worse, Robin. Or worse."

Is it over yet?

Sorry I haven't posted in awhile, but I've been very busy. What with work, sleeping, eating and TV there just isn't time to blog, let alone wipe my ass after I crap.

Well Detroit just elected a new temporary mayor to replace the previous temporary mayor who replaced the disgraced mayor Kwame Kilpatrick. Dave Bing, former Detroit Piston basketball star beat out Ken Cockrel Jr for the post. Ken Cockrel became mayor when Kwame Kilpatrick pleaded guilty to 2 felony counts of obstruction of justice in a whistleblower case. He and his mistress Christine Beatty, his chief of staff at the time, both lied about having an affair during the trial. Text messages proved this fact along with the fact that they conspired to fire the police officer investigating an "alleged" wild party at the mayor's residence - the Manoogian Mansion. The Detroit city charter states that the president of the Detroit City Council becomes mayor if the mayor can not finish his term. Ken Cockrel Jr was the president of city council at the time. Now that Dave Bing has become mayor, Ken Cockrel Jr is expected to resume his job as city council president. However, current city council president Monica Conyers is putting up a stink about it. The city charter states that the president of city council becomes mayor until a new mayor is elected. The implication is that the interim mayor would return to city council when the new mayor is elected. However, Mrs. Conyers says that since the charter does not specifically spell out this situation, then she should remain president. And Ken Cockrel Jr is out of a job.

Monica Conyers is a nutcase.

Go to www.youtube.com and search for Monica Conyers and you'll find several videos of her antics on city council. Side note - search for Barbara Rose Collins as well. She's a real hoot when she sings Onward Christian Soldiers during a council meeting.

Also, my workforce agreement with EDS, an HP Company ends on May 31st. So I may be drunk the rest of the month. With GM in such dire straits, no one is safe from the bitch slap of Father Fate. I have no idea what that means.

GM CEO Fritz Henderson today and in his previous job as Sergeant John Taggert in the Beverly Hills Cop movies.

What was I thinking?

I thought about a lot of thing while I was growing up...

When asked what I wanted to be when I grew up, I would respond with "I want to be a Nielson Family" because I thought they got paid to watch TV.

I always heard on the news about people getting robbed at gunpoint, or having their cars taken at gunpoint. And I wondered... Why do people keep going to Gunpoint? Bad things always seem to happen at Gunpoint.

I've never understood what an unretouched photo is.

Once upon a time there were 2 Chinese. Now look how many.

After all this, it finally dawned on me - I'm stupid.

Why won't Janice Dickenson call me? By now she must know that I'm head-over-heels infatuated with her.

BTW - Entering 'Snake wine bottles' at www.google.com will not bring up this web site.

Another Celebrity Dream...

Here's another dream I had recently.

I was out golfing with Triple H as my partner. For those of you who do not know who Triple H is, he is a wrestler with the WWE (that's World Wrestling Entertainment for the literate people out there). Anyway, we would come up to each tee and park behind the carts of the foursome currently teeing off. Triple H would then get out of the cart (he was driving) and sneak up on the other carts. He would then open a valve that would allow all the electricity to leak out of their batteries (anything can happen in a dream). After the foursome would finish their tee shots, we would take off, laughing at them. We would then drive up to where their shots landed and whack the balls way off to the side, continuing with our devious laughter. And pointing at the hapless golfers who couldn't get their carts moving. Then we'd move on to the next tee and do the same thing all over again.

I didn't say it was an interesting dream.

I'm hoping for another Janice Dickenson dream tonight.

It's almost after midnight on a Friday during Lent. Fire up the grill, we're cookin' dead cows!

Really? Janice Dickenson?

I had another weird dream last night. I dreampt that I was sleeping and the phone rang at 4:30 AM. My brother answered the phone, which was odd because he lives in Arizona and I live in Michigan. Anyway, he hands me the phone and says, "It's for you" and he goes back to bed.

"Hello," I stammered, still half asleep.

"Where are you? You're supposed to be here by now," was the reply.

"Who is this?" I asked.

"It's Janice Dickenson, the world's first supermodel. Your cats have a commercial shoot today and they were supposed to be here by 4 AM."

"I don't know anything about this." And with that, I hung up the phone and went back to sleep.

My cats woke me right at that point. So what does the dream mean? I have no clue. But if Janice Dickenson calls me again tonight, I'll invite her over for a couple of drinks because she's a hot lookin' woman.

And, hey, boys and girls, don't down dramamine with whiskey. Use vodka.

I saw this and thought it was soooo funny...

histoire de photocopie...mdr
Uploaded by zemila

Did you hear the one about...

So these two cannibals are munching on a clown when one cannibal says to the other, "This clown tastes like shit. He must have been an asshole."

I like banana bread.

My doctor said that my potassium levels are too high and I need to cut back on foods high in potassium. I thought he said possum. I told him I had no problem cutting back on foods that are high in possum. He laughed at me. I was serious. It wasn't until 15 minutes later that I understood what he said. I then laughed at me.

Hope you don't eat too many foods high in possum.

"Smiles, everyone. Smiles."

How often has this happened to you?

Have you ever come home from work, sat on the couch and soon find yourself in a puddle of warm urine? I have. And I'm not talking about a bladder control problem either. I'm talking laziness. I gotta tell you, many's the time I needed to take a whiz but I was just too lazy to get off my ass. So I pissed myself. Luckily, I purchased an industrial strength bottle of Febreeze. That way, my sofa cushions stay minty fresh.

Mmmmm... Pumpkin bread.

"New" Game For Adults

This past Christmas Day I visited some friends. As is wont to happen, the women gravitated to the kitchen and the men lounged in the living room. And as a man in the living room, the conversation eventually led to the old question, Ginger or Mary Ann? And Why?

Well, we expanded on this topic by bringing up other famous actresses, such as Loni Anderson/Lynda Carter; Jessica Simpson/Carrie Underwood; etc. This went on for several hours and was very amusing, to say the least. However, we ran into several issues along the way. Such as if an actress/singer spanned several decades, what would be considered their prime? Example: Cher. Some thought her prime was in the early/mid 70's. Other's thought it was around the Turn Back Time video. In that regard, I've come up with some rules.

1) When suggesting 2 or more candidates, they must be of the opposite sex. For example: in a gathering of men, you cannot bring up Mr. French or Mr. Belvedere.
2) When specifying a famous woman, the 'prime' of that woman's career will be the defining moment for your decision.
3) When suggesting a famous woman whose career spans several years/decades, you can limit the term. For instance, you can nominate Sally Field. If you don't specify the time period, then the 'prime' for Sally Field can come from any era. That means, you can think of Sally Field from Gidget, from The Flying Nun, from Smokey & The Bandit, or from Brothers & Sisters. If the term is specified, such as "Sally Field from the Smokey & The Bandit years" then you must limit your imagination to that period.
4) Bea Arthur always loses. Even against Mr. French.

This can be adopted for the women in the kitchen as well. Trust me, the men in the living room will not be offended.

If you can think of any other rules, please let me know and I will post them here.

As far as I know, there is no offical name for this game, so I would like to suggest "Boinkers".

I hope everyone enjoyed their Christmas noodles.

New Year's is just around the corner.

Mr. Al Gore, Please Come To Michigan

To: Mr. Al Gore
From: Lowell Cooper
Re: That whole global warming thingee
Date: A day after a huge snowfall

Mr. Al Gore,

I understand you're concerned about global warming. Well, I just shovelled 10" of your global warming from my driveway and sidewalk. We here in Michigan could see upwards of 20" of snowfall before Christmas. I don't think we've ever had this much snow before Christmas since I've moved to Michigan some 23 years ago.

Mr. Al Gore, please come to Michigan and try to convince me that global warming is real, because right about now, I don't believe it. Maybe Michigan is in some kind of funky space-time continuum where global warming ceases to exist. Or maybe Michigan has drifted farther north than what was originally thought. Or maybe the curse the old gypsy put on me after I peed on her crystal ball is real. You know the curse - "Wherever you go, it will be cold. Colder than the tip of the iceberg. Colder than Lambeau Field in December. Colder than the heart of a Republican discussing abortion. Colder than Leona Helmsley's corpse. You shall never again feel warmth." That would definitely explain why I couldn't feel anything when I accidentally caught on fire the other day. Luckily it was at work and my co-workers were able to put out the fire. However, they did take several minutes to discuss whether or not they should and that bothered me a little.

Anyway, in case I don't post before Christmas, everyone have a Happy Holiday season and don't forget: Christmastime is noodle time. Enjoy your holiday noodles.